Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize