It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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