Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize