I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
