the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you had me at cake vodka
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
