Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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