We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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