i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
