Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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