I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
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I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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