We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize