i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
