I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize