So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
