im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
