Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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