i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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