ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
