Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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