I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night