everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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