I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Randomize