i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
