but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
