areolas are like halos for boobs.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
