I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
