He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
