I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
