I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
