i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
