arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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