already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
