So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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