if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
