you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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