I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
