remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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