We're like a lot better than the average bears
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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