I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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