Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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