I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Your penis caused this!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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