i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
