Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
