i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
