Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
