What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Is it because I queefed?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
