Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
