my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
