Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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