You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
