so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
