Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
