Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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