i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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