He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
