There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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